Thursday, March 13, 2014

Eternity in a sardine tin.

We're here!  Let the eating commence.

Bernadette said she's never had more uncomfortable flights.  The first leg which commented at 12.45 am was 8.5 hours and while the seats were wide and there was elbow room, they seemed very upright and didn't recline very far and were deeper than some. End result was wrong shape for shorties.  There was no footrest bar and ended up with sore knees.  Hour and a half layover in KL where we wandered around the gate lounges like zombies. Called to our flight.  Looked to be only part full. Oh goodie. perhaps we can spread out a bit more, especially Bernadette who was sat next to a mum and bubs, we waited in our seats,then some people trickled on.  Must be a delayed flight somewhere.  Then some more, then more.

 Turns out a flight from New Zealand was delayed and there were 44 people and 66 pieces of luggage to load.  They wandered up and down the very narrow aisle trying to find spots for their hand luggage.  They sat down, we sat there. Just when we'd think everyone was on board more would come and do the same. Meanwhile the natives were getting restless and they too began perambulating the extremely narrow aisle.  It was like a boulevard. There was stripy man. A young man in jeans and striped tshirt who was so attached to his hand luggage that he felt compelled to visit it every 10 minutes or so and have a rummage. There was also old man Beanie who if he ever had a mouthful of teeth had long since mislaid most of them.  The purpose of his peregrinations were never ascertained.

Older lady who visited her travelling companions too. And of course there were the loos.
Only at the back of our not very big but very squeezy plane. A word about this . I don't  know what model plane it was but seats were configured 2 rows of 2 seats. With a narrow aisle, this is the type of aisle where if two people want to pass the poor aisle seat passenger is either treated to an eyeful of crotch or someone's bum in their face.  This then was to be our home for the next 22 thousand hours. Ok so it wasn't that long, it just felt like it.  At one point Mick questioned whether the trickling passenger phenomenon was
because there was some hidden back door and they were just passing through. The staff tried to be helpful but they would march up and down the aisle opening and closing overhead lockers looking for spaces for the many, many pieces of carry on. Didn't seem to dawn on them that leaving them open so they could see the contents rather than opening
and closing them all the time in search of increasingly elusive space might be more efficient. After an hour and a half of this we finally took off with a rather testy sounding pilot
exhorting us to "try and enjoy the flight". And we did. Try that is, but we failed.  The food
was pretty good but drink selection was limited to apple juice, orange juice, Pepsi and water.  There was beer and wine but they were only in evidence during meals and even then tucked away.  I decided after a bit to ease up on the juice as, after all we were headed to India and all its implications and compounding potential digestive issues with vast quantities of fruit juice didn't seem the wisest idea in the universe.

So finally on our way. Time to numb the brain with a movie. Off to the latest releases section of in flight entertainment.  Under construction. hUh?  Where's the Desolation of Smaug I had planned to watch this leg? Tried again, nope. And I'd watched all the eps of Big Bang Theory on previous flight.  Most of the rest was Hindi movies which was too much effort for my weary brain which totters towards feebleness at the best of times.  So I contented myself with the flight map as we slowly inched our way to India. Did you know
there's a place called Cox's Bazar in Bangladesh? No I didn't either. Another feature of the
Malaysian airlines in flight map is the compass which tells you where Mecca is in relation to the nearest inhabited town below.  We flew over Burma with its green jungles and almost unpopulated western coastline.  Over Bay of Bengal . No wonder Bangladesh is so prone to catastrophic flooding. The Delta looked like veins and capillaries stretching into the sea.

Bernadette who was wedged in next to mum with bubs did get another seat, next to me. Hurray. Finally we can gave a chat.  As we took off she said, " now is when the wing falls off". I gave her a look. She grinned.between attempts to doze she regaled me with stories airline disasters.  I gave her the glare. That didn't work either. I told her you can go off people rather quickly. That didn't stop her. Even threats of physical violence didn't deter her.  Some day, in some way I shall get my revenge.  After 45 years we landed.   One of the others. Can't remember if it was Mick or Bernadette wondered out loud if  the car and driver engaged to take us to our hotel were still there. They were.

As for Malaysian airlines, well years ago when they were known as MSA the joke was that it stood for Miserable Service again.  Look it wasn't horrible but we have had better flights. And given a choice we would go with someone else.

So what's Delhi like?  Well don't really know yet. The drive from the airport was fun. I volunteered to sit up front with the driver.   They drive on the left here. Well most of the time. The rules seem simple. Bikes give way to cars. Little cars give way to bigger cars who give way to bigger cars who give way to buses who give way to trucks who give way to big ass trucks. Simples.  

Road was busy and congested.  "Wouldn't want to break down in this!"I commented to the driver. Oh this is ok. You should see it peak hour.  Ohh kaaay.

We got to the hotel and haven't ventured out. It's clean and comfy, but not flash. The staff pleasant and attentive and I Love kingfisher beer.  I know this coz I had 3 bottles of it.  It comes in 650 ml bottles which might explain why I woke up at 3 am with a thumping headache.  And can't get back to sleep which is why I'm inflicting this epic tome on the Internet.

Dinner on rooftop.  Dhal, stuffed paranthas, vegie pakoras, afghan chicken, spiced Pilau. Kingfisher beer for 3 total cost about $40.  Not flash but if this is what the food is like the rest of the trip then bring it on!  

In a couple of hours we are off on early morning train to Amritsar.  The bloke from the company we booked the trip with rang us at the hotel.  Turned up when he said get would, was friendly and helpful and Gave us the business card of his company and said "my man in Amritsar will meet you at the station". My man in Amritsar. Can't make up my mind if it feels like a spy movie or if I've been transported back to the British raj. One thing. The Indians know about good customer service.

Ps. The menu items. I know the spelling may seem odd. It's how they were spelled on the menu.




2 comments:

Anonymous said...

Plane trip from HELL
very funny though 'cos it's someone else and NOT ME
brings back memories of ones ive suffered in the past
Marguerite xx

Anonymous said...

Plane trip from HELL
very funny though 'cos it's someone else and NOT ME
brings back memories of ones ive suffered in the past
Marguerite xx